Here's a question one of our readers asked:
There's someone on my team, let's call her Vocal Val, and we collaborate on everything. But in our weekly team status meetings, she never gives me credit for the work we've done together.
Over time, this has led to people tapping in Vocal Val for projects. She's now seen as the subject matter expert even though the work is shared.
I’ve talked to her. She apologized, changed for two weeks, then went right back to it. I even talked to my boss. He says he knows I’m an equal contributor, but nothing’s changed. What can I do? -Timid Tess
Super frustrating, am I right?
So why is having the conversation not enough?
Because insight does not automatically change behavior. And when that fails, the only lever we actually control is our response.
Why This Is Actually Really Hard
On paper, the solution feels obvious. Tess could just say:
“Actually, Val and I worked on that together.”
But Tess is not that person. She is thoughtful. She prefers to work behind the scenes. She does not love interrupting. And she really does not want to be seen as pushy, defensive, or difficult.
And when the stakes feel high, and you're worried about your reputation or appearing aggressive, your brain won't let you try something brand new.
And let me be clear: you cannot "Superman Pose" your way into solving this. Confidence is built through repeated practice.
The Strategic Play Solution
Just like a football team does not wait until game day to practice touchdowns, we do not wait for high-stakes meetings to practice speaking up.
How can we get more confident speaking up? One of my favorite games we run is called Mission: Possible.
You play undercover spies navigating a high-society gala, trading small talk for clues as you hunt down stolen jewels.
Think Ethan Hunt in Mission: Impossible
Each of you is disguised as someone who naturally commands attention. A CEO. A decorated general. A world-famous architect.
If you do not speak up, question the right people, and piece together scattered clues from conversations and puzzles around the room, the jewels are gone, the mission is over, and your cover is blown.
You think you are just playing a spy game. But what you are really practicing is claiming your role in the room.
Turns out, staying in character as someone who owns the room is excellent practice for meetings where you usually disappear.
The Science Behind Strategic Play
Neurons that fire together wire together. Your brain builds pathways through repetition. When you practice a behavior, especially in a situation that carries emotional weight, those neural pathways strengthen.
Your brain does not really care whether you spoke up as a fake CEO at a pretend gala or as yourself in a real meeting.
The discomfort is similar. The response becomes familiar.
If you are reading this and thinking okay but what do I actually say, try this:
“Just to build on that, Val and I partnered on this, and one thing we learned was…”
It is calm. It is factual. It is not aggressive. And it gently rewrites the story in real time.
Practice Makes Possible.
The people who see the biggest shifts do not wait until they feel ready. They practice in low-stakes environments until the skill becomes muscle memory.
That is what strategic play is really about.